She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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