I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize