David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
We have so much sex to catch up on
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
