I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
