every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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