maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
