I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
