To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
We left the knife in your bed.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
