In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
