More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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