She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
