You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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