Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
