He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
