i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
