is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Drake has all the answers
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
