i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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