dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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