I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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