I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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