Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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