so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
did i just pee glitter
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
