The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
