it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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