Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
