That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
