Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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