so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
