Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
