I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
