Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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