Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
