i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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