hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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