maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
