I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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