sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
