I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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