i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
