He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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