just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
