Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize