OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize