Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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