I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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