I feel great
I just peed on a car
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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