I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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