am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Randomize
