I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
