i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
