Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
