you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
