Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
