I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
