We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
