I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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