So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
