in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize