PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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