You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize