I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
