Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She needs sedatives and a leash
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
