lets start a swedish sibling band together
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
