Sry I called you an 8
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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